Masculinity Unwritten: Why Life, Not Books, Teaches Us How to Be a Man
Introduction
Do you want to be a better man? Do you want to man up? Do you want to stop being Mr. Nice Guy and be that alpha male? And most importantly, do you want to reclaim your masculinity?
If the answer is yes, all you need to do is go online, watch videos, and purchase books from coaches and writers who will teach you how to be a superior man, an alpha male, and most importantly, a man with values that are necessary in today’s society.
You will only need to purchase a 20- or 30-dollar book, which is brimming with secrets. Once you master these secrets, don’t forget to share them with the rest of us.
So, let’s begin by exploring the secrets of becoming a better man, a better businessman, and improving in all aspects of life.
Dr. Google, the ultimate source of knowledge, claims that there are hundreds of books on topics such as masculinity and being an awesome man. Most prominent authors who have written extensively on masculinity hail from the United States.
The truth is that books are purely theoretical, lacking practical approaches or real-life drills, exercises, and strategies for resolving problems, obstacles, and critical situations. There is nothing more than theory in books, even when we add several hundred books or titles about masculinity to the mix.
A book about being an awesome Father
When my son was born, no one gave me a book with instructions on how to be a better father, how to be a father, or what a father must do.
Never, ever have I read one book about fatherhood except one that explains the development of a child, like what a baby does in the first month, with 6 months until the moment you realize my son told me, I love you—the most beautiful words I ever heard.
So, in a nutshell, I never read a book about fatherhood, and I knew few things about what was expected from me, and that is to give and provide unconditional love to my firstborn and to protect him from all risks and harms regardless of size, shape, and form.
As well, that included his mother and that I need to keep him clean, healthy, happy, and fed. That is a good start about being a normal father. No one can teach you those lessons, except you learn from your parents, in school, and from real-life examples.
Book about being an awesome Universal Soldier
I entered military school at age 14 in the midst of communism on a nice warm autumn day, and from the moment I entered school, I never got the book on how to be an awesome universal officer or soldier. NoThe government and my parents assigned me tasks, held me accountable, and gave me responsibility. . I was responsible for successes and failures. In reality, my COs and professors instruct us through books and theory, demonstrate the process in practice, and then give us the ultimatum: either succeed or fail.
Book of how to be a War Machine
I entered war at age 18, and in short, no one gave me a book on how to be a war machine; instead, I learned my responsibilities, why and how I am accountable for a successful mission, how to plan KIA and MIA, and after all, no one told me how to be brave or courageous; it was expected from me to lead, not cry, and ask for my mother; I needed to be a beacon of bravery and understanding, compassion, and ruthlessness at the same time.
But I did see alpha males who I looked so high, they were among the first to run away from war, holding their mothers skirts, their wives hands, dressing like women to enter the last armored train from my besieged city.
Not Why but How to Be a Man
The question you must ask yourself is not why you need to man up or how to reclaim your masculinity; after all, I never saw the modus operandi of hijacking anyone’s masculinity.
The question you should ask yourself is HOW to be a man, and as much as this question looks so complex, it is very simple, and the answer is, be you. Work on yourself; sharpen your skills to the next level regardless of what discipline you are good at, and pass that knowledge on to your kids; they are the ones who will learn from you.
Build your physical attributes; work on your health. After all health is most valuable commodity in life, without health there is no masculinity.
When you start reading all those books about masculinity, you need to understand several factors, and they are: Who are the authors? Are they academics or self-proclaimed gurus and coaches? Where are they coming from, and is their geographical position related to you?!
Niccolò Machiavelli wrote a masterpiece called The Prince, highly recommending that book, and even today scholars are trying to solve the thesis, “Did Machiavelli write The Prince as part of revenge so his name can be carried in eternity or not?” So most of the books you are reading are based on self-image and alter ego.
Is it reliance on books symptomatic of modern society’s crisis of mentorship and connection?!
I didn’t learn how to be a man from books – I learned from life. Books can guide us, but to be a man, you need to step into the battlefield of life—face adversity, take responsibility, and grow from your scars. Because being a man isn’t something you read; it is something you live!
This post was written by Mario Bekes